


I Get So Tongue-Tied

by rosebud_boi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Also shiro is not a clone fuq u dreamworks, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, It's after Keith finds out that he's galra but before he joins the Blade of Marmora, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Soulmate AU, and they were soulmates (oh my god they were soulmate), just a dumb bitch power couple, just lance and keith being idiots, this doesnt fit into a specific season
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2019-06-27 21:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15694011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosebud_boi/pseuds/rosebud_boi
Summary: For Lance’s whole life, his soulmate had been quiet.Of course, he couldn’t actually hear what his soulmate had to say. His soulmate never wrote him, though. Lance tried to pretend that his feelings weren’t hurt, but who was he kidding? Lance constantly wrote on himself. His arms, his legs, his stomach sometimes. He would write reminders, little phrases he thought were cute, names and numbers… He wanted to make sure his soulmate never felt alone. Alone like he did.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there. This is my very first fanfiction (unless you include Neopets) and tbh I'm lowkey nervous about it. I haven't had anyone beta it or anything so we just out here living our best lives. I'm p sure I know where this is gonna go so I'm just gonna try my best. I have like three chapters done so like,, we'll see. ANYWAYS I hope you enjoy and hopefully this doesn't suck a lot :)

For Lance’s whole life, his soulmate had been quiet.

Of course, he couldn’t actually hear what his soulmate had to say. His soulmate never wrote him, though. Lance tried to pretend that his feelings weren’t hurt, but who was he kidding? Lance _constantly_ wrote on himself. His arms, his legs, his stomach sometimes. He would write reminders, little phrases he thought were cute, names and numbers… He wanted to make sure his soulmate never felt alone. Alone like he did.

So when his soulmate actually did write something, Lance was shocked. He knew he had a soulmate, obviously. Everyone had one. But at fifteen, he figured his soulmate would never write him. So he had moved on to other things. He applied to the Galaxy Garrison to become a pilot. He had had multiple girlfriends at that point. And he was starting to stop writing on himself. Of course, he would never really stop. If his soulmate was out there somewhere, he might as well make sure they knew he was still around. Maybe his soulmate didn’t speak English or something. But he was definitely writing a lot less. At that point, it was really only things he had to remember, homework and whatnot. And even though it bothered him a little, he figured he might as well not waste the ink, and that if his soulmate really missed him, they would write to him.

That day, Lance was studying. The Garrison was like, ten times harder than Lance had ever expected. Lance considered himself to be smart. But, as it turned out, he kind of sucked at all the space stuff. He was a pretty good pilot, if he said so himself, but the memorization was kicking his ass. He was trying to hit top of his class because some other asshole in his class was getting A’s on everything. This edgy kid, Keith, who always sat in the back and picked fights with the teacher. It drove Lance _nuts_ that this idiot was doing well, so he made it his mission to beat his ass in everything, including Astronomy. This recent unit was on other stars in the Milky Way, and he could not for the life of him remember their order. He was scribbling down names in blue pen on his forearm, trying to remember them in order, when suddenly a mark of red ink appeared under “Ross 128”. Lance glanced at it for a second, thought oh, that’s weird and looked back at the book with the list in it.

Lance froze. For some reason, the fact that someone else’s writing was on his arm didn’t register. Wait, he thought, why is there red ink on my arm? I don’t even use red pens. Then it clicked. _Holy shit, his soulmate was actually writing to him! Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholy-_

He glanced at his forearm. Right underneath the blue marking on his arm, he saw “Gliese 866”. What the hell? That was a star name. What the hell was his soulmate doing writing a star name on his-

Oh. That was what he had been doing. He glanced down at the textbook on his lap. Just as he had assumed, his soulmate had written the next star on his arm. Lance wasn’t sure what to do. Should he say something? What was he supposed to respond to that? “Hey, I know you haven’t talked to me at all during my entire life, but thanks for helping me study. My name’s Lance, by the way.” 

Yeah, as if. Lance waited to see if his soulmate would write anything else. “Hello,” or “Hey, my name’s ______”, or even another star. But instead, the red ink stopped. He waited for like, ten minutes to see if more ink snaked its way across his skin. Nothing. _Shit_ , Lance thought. _There goes that._

Lance stared at the writing on his forearm. His soulmate’s handwriting was messy, and would probably be barely legible if Lance didn’t also have maybe the world’s worst handwriting. The letters were pointy and slanted, and it was obvious that they were pressing really hard against their skin. Lance wondered what their skin looked like. Was it soft? Pale? Freckled? His mind ran with the possibilities. Skin that he would one day touch, and would probably never want to stop touching. _Well_ , he thought, _at least they're into space stuff too._ He thanked god that at least they had one thing in common.

He tried to keep studying, but his mind kept going back to his mysterious soulmate and their messy handwriting and their unusual knowledge of stars. And that night, when Lance was lying in bed, holding his arm above his head so he could stare at the writing, he wondered if his soulmate was doing the same thing too, somewhere else. The thought filled him with warmth, and he finally felt like he could sleep.

When Lance woke up the next morning, he was reluctant to take a shower. He knew his soulmate’s writing wouldn’t come off until they washed it off, but if Lance’s writing was gone, it was likely that his soulmate would follow in suit. After showering rather quickly, he glanced down to see that the red pen was still there. Lance felt a wave of relief. This was the first he had heard from his soulmate, and he really wanted to make sure it wasn’t the last.

Of course, all that didn’t matter after he found out that his class was cancelled. All the classes had been cancelled that day. The famous Kerberos mission, that everyone at the Garrison had been following closely, had failed. There had been a “piloting error”, according to the report. They lost three explorers, including Lance’s long time idol, Takashi Shirogane. They cancelled all classes at the Garrison that day in memoriam, and by the time Lance returned to his dorm after a service they held for the pilots, the red ink was washed away.

He didn’t hear from his soulmate after that. That one kid, Keith, wasn’t in class when they came back in session, and Lance was finally at the top. It wasn’t any comfort, though. He really just wanted to hear from his soulmate again. 

. . .

By the time Lance was seventeen, he completely gave up trying. That one day, two years ago, when his soulmate had finally made their presence clear, had obviously been a one-time thing, and they hadn’t written a thing since. Instead, he threw himself at his work. He had been moved up a flight class at the Garrison, but his instructor, Commander Iverson, was not exactly warm and fuzzy. Instead, he was more along the lines of “mean and hated Lance a lot”. Of course, he had Hunk and Pidge, but the two of them were more engineers, so Lance had to work double time to pass. After botching the flight simulator with Hunk and Pidge, he knew they had to work out whatever their issue was. There was no way he was gonna flunk out of the Garrison.

That night, sitting on the roof of the Garrison, staring at Pidge’s technology, Lance felt a familiar tingle on his forearm. His head whipped down, and he pushed his sleeve back. On his wrist, right on his pulse, were coordinates. They were scrawled in the chicken scratch he had committed clearly to memory two years ago. _His soulmate_. Lance’s heartbeat quickened. Pidge and Hunk were deep in conversation, but Lance zoned out staring at the numbers. _What the hell would he need coordinates for?_ Lance zoned out, trying to think of the possibilities. Was this where his soulmate lived? Were they supposed to meet there? Were the numbers just an accident? His attention was only drawn back by a ship hurtling down towards the desert in the distance. 

“Woah, what _is_ that thing?” Hunk asked, staring off at the blast site.

“I don’t know, but we should totally check it out,” Pidge said, packing up all the technology and throwing it into a backpack.

“Yeah, okay, but, how exactly are we supposed to get there? We don’t exactly know where it is. It’s not like we have coordinates or something.” Hunk answered.

“I think I have an idea.” Lance stared at his wrist. He had a feeling he knew what the coordinates meant now. _Don’t fail me now, mystery soulmate._

. . .

 

The coordinates on Lance’s wrist didn’t disappear until almost a week later. At that point, his soulmate was nearly out of his head. Thoughts of how his soulmate knew those coordinates floated through his head occasionally, but for the most part, he was focused on trying to form a giant robot warrior out of a bunch of multicolored cats with his team. 

Being in space and forming Voltron was like something Lance had never experienced. Being able to work with his long-time idol, Shiro, was like a dream come true. He loved hanging out with Pidge and Hunk, because they were basically his best friends (although apparently there were _some things_ he didn’t know about Pidge until later). Allura was maybe the hottest girl he had ever seen, so working with her didn’t bother him at all. (She tragically was not his soulmate, though, because of her apparent lack of red coordinates on her wrist.) And Coran was like the best space uncle a boy could wish for. Honestly, he loved his team, and working with them was like, the coolest thing he ever got to do. Except, of course, when it came to Keith. The edgelord was somehow close to Shiro, which irked the living daylights out of Lance, and to top it off, he didn’t even remember Lance from the Galaxy Garrison, despite their very obvious rivalry. Keith was a Grade A dickwad, and he targeted 90% of his pettiness at Lance. Of course, Lance certainly wasn’t passive when Keith challenged him, but if that stupid mullet-headed dingus couldn’t keep his cool, it was always the both of them being blamed. Keith was this close to ruining Lance’s time on the team.

But, of course, he wouldn’t let some idiot with a mullet ruin his chances to be with the coolest group of people ever. So he sucked it up most of the time. He would only challenge Keith if Keith actively did something stupid (which was, unsurprisingly, most of time). He tried to keep civil, and he tried not to hit too low. Most of the arguing was playful, anyways. It was a needed distraction from the pain of missing home, especially as it became clear that they probably weren’t going back to Earth any time soon.

Lance didn’t hear from his soulmate for a long time after that. That didn’t bother him too much, because they were so busy freeing planets and fighting the Galra. But every once in a while he would glance down at his skin and wish there was something there. He wondered sometimes if he should send a message to his soulmate, but decided against. There was obviously a reason his soulmate wasn’t saying anything to him. And if his soulmate was trying to stay out of contact, so be it. He could deal.

In fact, after a while he forgot soulmates were really a thing. Hunk’s and Pidge’s never really contacted them. They would talk every once in a while, but Pidge wasn’t really interested in a relationship at that point, and Hunk figured it would make more sense for them to finally be at peace before he tried to track down his soulmate. Shiro already found his soulmate back on Earth, but there was a whole thing about it and he wouldn’t talk about it. Apparently Altean soulmates worked differently, but it was really confusing and not worth going into. And Keith never talked about his soulmate. Like, at all. Lance didn’t really get it, but it certainly wasn’t his business. And since they were so busy, it’s not like they were talking about it all the time.

His soulmate was so far off his radar, that when Lance finally did get a third message, he didn’t even realize what was going on. He was so busy with trying to dismantle the Galra empire that it hadn’t crossed his mind in months. He was in his room that night, after a long day of “lion bonding”, trying to recover from having his mind pried by a sentient cat robot. When he glanced down at his arm and saw little lines of red ink making their way across, he was puzzled. Was he bleeding? He stared at it for a minute, before remembering. _Oh yeah. Soulmates are a thing._ He wondered what cryptic message would be scrawled on his wrist. Some secret code? Another goddamn star name? His heart rate picked up. What if his soulmate was actually reaching out to him? What if he learned their name, or where they were, or why they hadn’t talked to him at all? He finally glanced down, anxious to see what the mysterious red-ink had to say.

_Hi_ , is what Lance’s wrist read.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finally gets a little contact in with his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M REALLY SORRY!!
> 
> I totally meant to update this like a month ago. I changed my mind about what I wanted to do with this fic so I had to delete a couple of chapters I had already written, and I had to rewrite this one. It's not top-notch work but I'm trying to switch around a couple things I had planned. Plus, I just started a new school year so I completely dropped the ball on this one.
> 
> Anyways, so sorry about the wait. If you have any comments, please contact me! I'm always looking for constructive criticism (again, first fic, not too great). Comments can go here, or my tumblr, [vol-thot](https://www.vol-thot.tumblr.com)
> 
> Not sure when to expect the next update. I'm getting into the groove of school again so it'll likely be out by the end of this month.

Lance feels his heart rate pick up. His soulmate was contacting him. _Finally_. After all these years of writing on himself, leaving open endeds for them to answer, they finally initiated. Lance thinks he might cry. He stares at the scratchy handwriting nestled on his pulse. He can tell whoever it is was trying really hard to write neatly, and he appreciates it.

Staring at his wrist, Lance nearly forgets to answer. Then he remembers that that was maybe something he should do. He shoots up off of his bed and scrambles around his room for something to write with. He eventually finds a blue pen in the pocket of some jacket. He’s not sure how it got there, but it doesn’t matter. What’s more important is that he responds to his elusive soulmate before they disappear again.

 _Hey_ , he scribbles, just underneath the first message. He waits anxiously for a response, praying that his soulmate is playing some sort of game.

 _Sorry I haven’t talked to you before_ , the red ink slides across his skin with a slight tingle. Lance feels so warm, seeing these words snake their way across his wrist.

 _It’s fine_ , he replies. He doesn’t want to scare them off. Of course, once they meet in real life and maybe get comfortable with each other, this jerk is gonna get an earful about how much anxiety they gave Lance.

 _So_ , his soulmate writes, _how’s it going?_ Lance feels his face break into a smile. He can tell that his soulmate is uncomfortable, but not in a bad way, and it makes him feel something inexplicable in his soul. Like, hey, they’re nervous because of me, but it’s okay because I’m gonna make them feel so much better. Lance is gonna soulmate the _shit_ outta this person. Which reminds him-  
_Who are you???_ He writes. He’s sitting on his bed, but he can’t seem to get comfortable. There’s not exactly a comfy way to sit and write on your arm, he decides.

_You didn’t answer my question._

_It’s going good. Now are you going to tell me who you are????_

_Damn, we can’t even get acquainted first._

_Fine: Are you a boy or a girl?_

Lance isn’t sure what he wants the answer to be. He’s kind of expecting it to be a guy. The handwriting is kind of harsh and messy, and their demeanor is a little sarcastic and awkward, and not at all like any of the girls he’s ever talked to. He’s not really sure how much he would care, but it would be nice to know.

_I’m a guy._

_Cool. Same._ So at least he knows something about his soulmate.

_Do you still want to know who I am?_

_Yeah_

_You can call me Red_

_Then I guess you can call me Blue._ Two can play at that game, Lance thinks. He also thinks that Red is maybe the greatest thing ever, but it’s gonna take a while to find out if that’s true.

 _So where are you from?_ Lance figures it would be easiest to start there.

_I’m not really from anywhere. I’m a drifter._

_Me too._ He feels a smile cross his face. There’s hope for him and his soulmate. For all these years he thought his soulmate was a lost cause. For the first fifteen years, in fact, he thought his soulmate didn’t exist. It had happened before, people not having soulmates. It was really tragic when someone ended up soulmate-less. It meant you were essentially destined for loneliness. He had a distant uncle who didn’t have a soulmate, and oh boy, was it sad when he came to family reunions. Yet here Lance was, talking to a soulmate that felt so freaking close to him, despite knowing nothing about him. He feels that tingle again and glances down to see what his soulmate is writing.

_I’m sorry I won’t tell you much about me yet. I’m kind of nervous._

Fair enough. Lance isn’t sure how to respond. He really just wants to meet his soulmate. Could they meet up? Unlikely. Red already seemed to be wary about giving out information, especially since he couldn’t even give his actual name.

What kind of name was Red, anyway? After the red ink he used? That was the only answer that seemed plausible to Lance. After all, he had used Blue. But jeez, this guy left a lot of doors open, and Lance wasn’t really sure how to get answers out of him.

 _Are you sure you can’t tell me your name?_ Lance figures it’s worth a shot. He’s not exactly sure why his soulmate can’t just be honest with him. 

_I’m sorry, I can’t. We probably won't be able to see each other for a while._ What the hell does that mean? He knows he shouldn’t push it, but he’s disappointed. He’s been waiting for this his whole life, his soulmate is finally reaching out to him, but he can’t seem to get past the awkward introduction phase, or the "yeah sorry I don't want to see or know you," apparently.

 _I’m gonna wash off my arm to make some more space_ , Red writes. Lance sighs. He knows Red is right, but he doesn’t want to lose these messages. He gets a weird sense of satisfaction from knowing that his soulmate’s handwriting is right there. It’s like, his soulmate can’t try and hide anymore because Lance has the proof right there on his arm that his soulmate is real, and talks to him, and if he tries hard enough he might be able to find Red.

Lance gets up off his bed and walks into his little bathroom. He prays the pen will come off, or else their conversation will be ending soon because they’ll run out of room. He knows he can write on his thighs in a worst-case scenario, but that’s a little too desperate for him, at least this early on.

He takes a small bar of soap and scrubs. He can see the red ink starting to rub off, and he feels a small bit of relief as the blue starts to come up too. The ink is bleeding down his arm, and the purple blend gives Lance a weird feeling in his stomach. He closes his eyes. This is a lot to take in, especially this late at night. He has a mission in two days, and he knows if he doesn’t sleep tonight he probably won’t sleep well tomorrow either, and that’ll completely screw up his mission. So when he finally gets back to his bed, he tells his soulmate that he’s going to bed. 

_Goodnight, Blue_ , the red ink spells out. Lance can’t stop staring at it. The whole time he showers, does his skin care routine, and crawls into bed, he can’t stop looking at his wrist. The warm feeling he gets doesn’t fade as he falls to sleep.

. . . 

That’s how the next few weeks go. Lance would get up, do all his Voltron-y stuff, training or battling or whatever they had to do, and then at night, he would write to his soulmate. They would talk about stupid stuff, but every night Lance felt like he got closer and closer to the idiot on the other side. They talked about their favorite movies, and how Red hates the taste of onions, and how Lance was allergic to dogs but loves them anyway, and all these little things that gave Lance a warm sense of familiarity. It relaxed him, knowing that there was someone else out there who thought about him. 

Honestly, everything was pretty relaxing to Lance recently. Things had been going well against the Galra, and he’s never felt closer to his team before. Especially with Keith. He’s not sure when he realized it, but recently Lance has become hyper-aware about how much nicer Keith has been recently. He’s been really supportive, and funny, and even though they still bicker sometimes, it’s mostly friendly. He’s not sure what has gotten into Keith, but it has made working with the team so much easier. Keith had always been sullen and quiet, but he was totally coming out of his shell and letting himself relax.

Like the other day, they were doing a team exercise in the training room. The five Paladins were circled up, doing a mock fight. They were being shot at by drones, while a small group of robot fighters were on the ground. The team had to work together to fight off the offenders, and, well, it was going pretty good. Lance’s job was to go on offensive on the drones circling above, while defending Pidge down below. It was Keith’s job to keep Lance from being attacked, which Lance was worried about at first but once he got into his groove, it hardly mattered. 

He got into a pretty straightforward pattern. He would shoot at the drones, while at the same time Pidge took offensive on the ground fighters. She had a predictable rhythm when it came to her offensive work. She would shoot her bayard out, pull herself to the robot, and then kick herself off of the fighter towards the next one. Afterwards, she would retreat back to the center where most of the Paladins stood. Lance would shoot down any fighters that went after her, and then go back to the drones. The whole process took probably less than a minute, but all of the drones shooting at a bunch of different directions made it way harder than it should have been. Still, he and Pidge fall into a familiar rhythm, which works surprisingly well.

It works so well, in fact, that Lance completely forgets to watch his own back. He knows Keith is supposed to be defending him, and he will admit that the boy was doing a pretty good job, but there’s only so much that someone else can do for you. Lance glances over at Keith, to his right, to make sure he’s still there.  
And oh, boy, he sure is.

Lance had forgotten what Keith looked like when he was concentrated. He was busy sparring with one of the robots. Their swords _click, click, click_ as Keith maneuvers his way around the sentry, careful to make sure none of them hit Lance. Keith is almost graceful as he slides around the bot, his movements carefully calculated, and all of his blows hit perfectly. Lance is mesmerized by Keith’s movements. He can’t help but stare for a second at how perfect Keith’s movements are. Even though he would never say it out loud, the boy’s technique was impeccable. Keith almost looked, well, _pretty_. He gets a weird feeling in his stomach while watching Keith spar, like he would never be able to stop looking at him ever again. Lance probably could have stared at Keith dueling forever, but he gets nailed in the back by drone while lost in his daze.

Cursing, Lance drops his bayard. _Shit_. Without his bayard, he leaves himself and Pidge defenseless in the simulator, and all because he was staring at some idiot. Lance scrambles towards the dropped bayard, when someone (Lance can’t tell who, in all the confusion of crawling on the ground) kicks it out of his reach. _SHIT_. Lance is in a panic. He knows he can’t leave Pidge defenseless, but he also doesn’t have time to go across the fight to pick up his bayard. Lance is freaking stuck on the ground.

That is, until his saviour Keith kicks the bayard back to him. Lance grabs the bayard that now lays right in front of his face, and looks up to Keith in thanks. Keith shoots him a warm smile, and that feeling suddenly rushes back into Lance’s stomach. Oh god. What was that? It didn’t matter. Lance scrambles to his feet, promising not to look at Keith for the rest of the simulation.

After the sim had ended, Coran gave them a quick briefing.  
“Good work, Paladins! This practice was possibly one of your best!” He cries, patting Shiro just a little too hard on the back. The teammates give each other high fives, and congratulate each other on a job well done. It’s not often that they hear that their training was really good.

“Although, I will say, Paladins, I was a bit worried when Lance dropped his bayard.” Coran added, _quite unnecessarily_ in Lance’s opinion.

“You dropped your bayard? Mid-fight?” Shiro asks him, his face shifting into concern. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that before. Are you alright?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” Lance replies. “I just got a little distracted? I don’t know.” He was not about to tell everyone that he got caught up in how pretty Keith looked.

“Alright. I just wanted to make sure. Especially because you’ve seemed very… distracted, lately.” Shiro’s face expresses more concern than anger, but Lance still feels like he’s being interrogated.

“What do you mean, distracted?” Lance asks. He hates it when Shiro gets like this.

“I don’t know. I just feel like as soon as we finish dinner, you go lock yourself in your room until you go to bed. It’s a little out of character for you.” Shiro answers honestly. Lance feels his face heat up.

“Yeah, sorry to butt in, man, but he’s right.” Hunk peeks into the conversation. “Whenever you’re not actively doing something with us, you’re in your room.” Thanks for the help getting blame off, _Hunk_. Pidge isn’t helping with her slow nods of agreement.

“Well, I don’t know what you guys are talking about!” Lance announces, crossing his arms and moving away from the crowd.

“Lance,” Allura says softly, “We aren’t accusing you of anything. We would just like you to tell us if something is going on.”

“Yeah, buddy. We’re just concerned,” Hunk adds. 

“There’s nothing going on!” Lance protests. There was, obviously, with his soulmate and all, but he’s not ready to tell his team about that, and he would appreciate if they would shut up.

“Lance-” Shiro starts, but Keith cuts him off.

“Back off, guys. If Lance doesn’t want to tell you, he doesn’t have to tell you.” Keith’s a little sharp with how he says it, but Lance is thankful. Keith was probably the last person Lance would have thought would be his saviour, but the universe works in mysterious ways, he supposes. Whatever. The team finally backed off after what Keith said. Lance shoots him a grateful smile, which Keith returns and _ohmygodthere’sthatfeelinginhisstomachagain._

And that was only one instance where Keith was actually really nice to him. Keith has been a lot more friendly during meals, and just during the day and stuff. Lance wonders what has gotten into him. It makes Lance happy that his most emo team member was finally happy enough to interact with the team in a nice way. And, well, it makes Lance feel kind of nice. Having his soulmate in contact, and now having his bond with his team be especially close, made his life a whole lot easier. And, Lance wasn’t going to lie to himself, Keith leaving his room more often meant that Lance got to hang out with him. Although he would never admit it, Keith was actually really nice. He could be kind of funny sometimes, and whenever they fought, it was much more of a playful banter than anythingh. And now that Keith was so happy and friendly and funny and cute- No. Not now that Lance had his soulmate. He was finally able to get that small part of him that always felt so out of reach, and it felt so good and he wasn’t about to ruin that by opening a whole can of worms with Keith.

But damn, it didn’t hurt to wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always open to comments/constructive criticism. Feel free to bug me and stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance goes on a mission, and makes a realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! This update is coming WAY sooner than I thought it would, which is great! <3 My workload for school is wild, so again, I'm sorry about the weird upload schedule. Luckily, I have the rest of the fic pretty much planned out, so it shouldn't take as long as the first update did.
> 
> As always, I'm always open to constructive criticism. You can leave comments here or on my [ tumblr ](https://www.vol-thot.tumblr.com) <3 thanks loves!

For Lance, life was good. He and his soulmate were still talking. Even though it wasn’t as frequent as before (maybe three times a week now), he felt happy to know there was someone to confide in. Red was an enigma, some looming figure that Lance knew would be the future, his future, but that almost made confiding in him easier. Lance didn’t want to talk too much about his situation (how is he supposed to tell his soulmate that he’s in space fighting an intergalactic war?), but he found a confidant in Red. He could tell him about missing his family, and feeling alone even when he’s with his friends. Red was a pillow that he could fall back on at the end of a hard day.

They would play games constantly. Tic tac toe, hangman, anything to make conversation just a little bit easier. Lance was trying to get Red to come out of his shell, reveal just a little bit about himself, but the boy wouldn’t budge. Not even a physical description. _Oh well_ , Lance figured, _absence makes the heart grow fonder_. And Lance was quite sure he was fond of Red. All the bitterness he had pent up in his systems over the years was washed away when he saw red ink snake its way down his forearms. He could not wait to return to Earth and track down this boy.

Lance had planned out their first meeting in his head countless times. He wasn’t sure what to expect of Red; what would he look like? What would he talk like? None of it mattered in Lance’s mind, however. It would all go down a little bit like this: Lance would get in contact with Red, maybe get his phone number or his email. He would get Red’s coordinates, just like how he got the coordinates that night he had saved Shiro. He would plan for months and months, and then he would take a plane to wherever Red lived. As the plane landed, Lance would be able to feel that Red was getting closer and closer, just minutes away from pure bliss. The plane lands, Lance gets off. He gets his bags, and walks around the airport to find Red, waiting for him. Their eyes meet and Lance instantly knows that this man is his soulmate. He drops his bags, and he runs toward Red, and Red runs toward him, and they meet in the middle with a loving embrace. They share a kiss, the most passionate, amazing kiss Lance has ever felt in his life. He has his happy ending. 

Of course, Lance knew this probably wouldn’t happen for years. He was in space, fighting a war, stuck with two girls, four other guys, five mice, and a cow. And even though the hopeless romantic in his heart wanted to tell him that love always found a way, Lance knew that he might never really meet Red. It was perfectly plausible he would die out here, millions of miles away from Earth, never to be heard from again. But that was his stupid, sad, pessimistic brain talking, and he wouldn’t let that stop him.

Being in space didn’t completely stop Lance from having fun, however. Hunk was still his best bud, and Pidge was always down for Killbot Phantasm, and Allura would do face masks with him on Friday nights, and Shiro really liked to play cards for some reason, and Coran was like the best space uncle Lance ever had. Even Keith had a nice presence on the castleship. Of course, Lance was _not_ attracted to him in the slightest. He was so _un_ attracted to Keith that whenever Keith came in a room, Lance got a stomach ache. Still, their relationship was solid. Keith would stick up for Lance a lot, and Lance would include Keith a lot, and they ended up working together pretty well.

So well, in fact, that Allura and Coran decided to send them on a high-stakes stealth mission together. The two of them, alone, had to infiltrate a Galra cruiser, and, without being seen, reach the core and download their shipping schedules, then once again escape undetected. Simple enough.

Except it wasn’t. Keith was a “shoot first, ask questions later” kind of guy, and even he knew that. Not exactly good for a “go in and don’t kill anyone” mission. And Lance got distracted easily, which certainly wasn’t optimal when they needed to get in and out, ASAP.

“Why does it have to be the two of us? Why can’t Pidge go, or something? She’s small,” Keith had pointed out to Shiro when he was explaining the plan.

“Because, in case something goes wrong, _which it won’t_ ,” Shiro answered pointedly, “I trust you two would be able to get out of there alive. We don’t want you fighting, or being noticed, but I know you can use brute force if you have to. Plus, Keith, you have good instinct. I think you’ll be able to get through the ship without being seen. And Lance, you’re basically his impulse control. You work well together. It made the most sense.”

Neither of them could argue with that. Except Keith still would.

“I just don’t understand why we can’t just blow up the cruiser once we get the info,” he argued. Lance kind of wanted him to stop, but he also felt happy that Keith was sticking up for himself. Lance was _really_ afraid of messing up the mission, and if anyone could get them out of it, it was Keith.

“We’ve been over this. The cruiser is a central port that a bunch of the ships report to. If any damage is done, our location would be compromised instantly and a huge fleet could potentially attack. Our best bet is just to get in, and get out. Besides, Pidge and Hunk are gonna be doing recon in another quadrant, and Allura, Coran, and I are on a diplomatic mission down to another planet. There won’t be any available backup if something goes wrong. We need the two of you to get that info. That’s final.”

So it was settled. The mission would leave the next morning, Keith and Lance both loaded into Red so she could drop them off nearby. Lance figured he should get a full night’s rest before having to spend all day with Keith the next day, so he booked it to his room. As he started to go in, he glanced down the hallway. There, Keith was standing, in front of his own room. He wasn’t moving, but standing there, staring at Lance. Even weirder, Lance didn’t feel creeped out at all. Keith’s face reddened, and he basically leapt into his room. _Weird_ , Lance thought.

. . .

That mission, Lance decided, was simultaneously the best and worst day of his life. Oh, it had been successful. They had easily gotten in and retrieved the info without being detected. Escaping was just as easy. When asked to recount the mission, however, Lance had failed to mention three important things that had happened on that ship with Keith:

First of all, Keith basically ignored Lance for the first half of the mission. Usually, silence on Keith’s end wouldn’t have bothered Lance. Keith was quiet, and it was normal for him to be silent and pensive before really risky missions. But this silence was clearly intentional, and it rubbed Lance the wrong way. Already, Lance was exhausted. He was so tired the night before, in fact, that when Red had tried to contact him, he didn’t write back. It was just way too late for him to have to appear cute for his soulmate. But this tiredness translated into the next day, and when Keith had been very clearly rude to Lance, he had no temper for it.

“Okay, listen, I get that you’re not happy being stuck on this mission with me, and I get that you’re pissed at Shiro, but you don’t need to be rude to me about it. How the hell are we supposed to get through this mission if you’re just gonna be angsty as hell?” Lance finally snapped, whispering furiously at Keith as they shoved themselves in a utility closet to hide from passing sentries.

“Shut up,” Keith hissed. Lance just scoffed. Keith gave him a dirty look, before peeking out the door and slinking back into the hallway.

“I’m not ignoring you on purpose. I’m just not in the best mood, okay? It’s not personal. God, Lance, why do you have to be so sensitive? Not everything is about you.” Woah, okay. Lance had thought they were getting along, but this? This was ruder than a lot of what Keith had to say, and Keith was definitely not known for sugarcoating things.

“Okay, just insult me, it’s fine,” Lance muttered, following Keith down the long corridor.

“It’s not about you, Lance. I don’t want to fight. Please.” Keith glanced back at him, pleadingly. “I’m just dealing with something. Please, just drop it.” The look in his eyes was not something that Lance was used to. They were _vulnerable_. And in the dimly lit violet halls, they sparkled. Lance stared at the sparkling purple eyes before him, before shaking it off immediately and complying. 

“Fine. But stop being rude.” Lance answered. That seemed to shut Keith up, as he nodded curtly then turned away and continued to creep down the hall. Something about that interaction made Lance feel a certain way. He wasn’t sure what way, but he knew it was something he wasn’t used to feeling.

 

The second thing that happened on that ship was something that Lance wasn’t sure he wanted explained. For whatever reason, after Keith had stopped blatantly ignoring every word Lance said, a new demeanor rose between them. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he could tell it wasn’t unpleasant. Every now and again, Keith would send Lance small smiles over his shoulder, and every time a spike of that same unidentifiable feeling shot through Lance’s body. 

That wasn’t the oddest of their interactions, though. At one point, they had sidled against a wall, praying not to get spotted by the Galra soldiers marching down the halls. They were shoved in a tiny nook, an alcove that was probably three feet across. Shoved next to each other, Lance could barely bring himself to look at Keith. He was used to being shoved into small spaces with Keith (something he never thought would be possible), but there was something intimate about being squished next to each other for fear of being shot instantly. So intimate, in fact, Lance didn’t even seem to notice that Keith’s hand was resting directly on top of his. When he picked up on this, Lance became flustered. He couldn’t move or say anything, but _ohmygodwhatthehellwaskeithDOING-_

Keith grabbed his hand.

Lance freaked out. Why was Keith holding his hand? What does this mean? It felt like Keith gripped it forever. Two boys, smushed together, clutching each other’s hands. Lance nearly died.

It felt like they stood there, holding hands for eternity. In actuality, Keith had just grabbed Lance’s hand for two seconds, before using it to yank him back into the hallway to continue their mission. He dropped it a moment after.

Oh.

Why had Lance freaked out? It wasn’t like he had never touched Keith before. It had been two seconds. What had gotten him so worked up?

Lance wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

 

Third, and strangest of all, was the conversation the two of them had on the Red Lion going back to the castleship. The mission was basically over. Lance had gotten over the hand holding. And the eyes, and the smiles, and everything else. The two of them were situated in Red, who was autopiloting back to the castle. The intel was stored in a thumb drive-like object, safely stowed away in a drawer that most closely resembled a glove compartment. The two of them sat there for a while, silently, waiting to make it back to the castle.

“You were really good out there.” Keith finally broke the silence, turning around to face Lance. 

“Huh?” Lance had zoned out, trying (and failing) not to think about why he had flipped out back on the ship.

“You were really good out there. You had really good instincts on when to hide, and stuff, and I don’t know, you just… did a really nice job.” Keith looked flustered, and Lance found it far too endearing for a dude-guy-friend. He knew Keith didn’t compliment people all that much, so to receive that was like a gift. And it made him feel a strange sort of warm.

“Really? Uh, thanks, man. You were good too, you know. You were really quick.” He felt awkward, just sitting, complimenting the boy in front of him. The discomfort washed away when Keith sent him the warmest smile he had ever seen on the boy’s face. He felt his heart rate pick up.

“Yeah? It wasn’t as cool as when those guards turned the corner, and you basically dove into that closet. I didn't even see it. You saved us out there.” Keith grinned. 

“It wasn’t as cool as when you took down those sensors. I didn’t know you had tech skills like that. When did you learn how to hack?” He wasn’t used to complimenting Keith. He liked it a lot better than fighting with him. The way their dynamic had flipped in just the few hours they were on the trip was strange, but Lance wasn’t sure he minded all that much.

“Oh, it was a required training thing with the Blade. It was basically nothing.” Keith smiled again, but mostly to himself. Lance couldn’t stop staring.

“It was still really cool! I only thought, like, Pidge could do that kind of stuff. You gotta show me one day. That could be useful the next time I have to take down some sensors. We really could have gotten shot down out there.” Lance knew he was overcompensating, but he wasn’t sure what this feeling was, and he didn’t hate it, so he figured he was fine.

“Yeah?” Keith looked back up at him.

“Yeah.” Lance answered. Again, Keith smiled at him. This time softer and fonder than any smile before. The lion was dim, but he was sure he could see tinges of a blush across Keith’s cheeks. He had small, slight dimples pressed into his cheeks, and Lance adored how only one side of Keith’s mouth perked into a sort of lopsided smile. His hair fell gently across his forehead, pressed down slightly from his helmet. He was sweaty, but not in a gross way. He looked like he was glowing. Lance didn’t think he had seen Keith this relaxed in a long time, but it was a good look on him. He looked beautiful.

Oh no.

_Oh no._

_He knew what that feeling was now._

_Lance had a crush._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Lance being rly into keith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez guys. I really meant to update this sooner. I really did. This is a suuuuper short chapter, I'm so sorry!!! I've been SO busy with school this year. I swear to god I'll have the next update soon. I kept meaning to write and then I was like "nah" and then it's almost a month later :/ This was barely edited I just felt super bad about not updating so I cranked this out. I promise the next chapter it'll start heating uP!!! Again, as always, I love constructive criticism, it can go here, or [ my tumblr ](http://www.vol-thot.tumblr.com) thank yoU!!!!

The next few weeks are not Lance’s best.

In the aftermath of his shocking revelation, Lance isn’t really sure what to do. He knows now that since he’s aware of his crush, he’s going to have to be extra careful about what he says and does, especially around Keith. Lance knows he isn’t exactly known for being a good secret keeper, even when it comes to his own secrets. But this time, Lance knows for a fact that he truly can’t tell anyone. What would Hunk say, his best friend, ever the skeptic? Or Pidge, the gremlin in the flesh? Or Shiro, Keith’s older brother? Or Allura, who Lance was _supposed_ to have a crush on? Or, oh dear god, Keith _himself?_

Lance can’t even think about that. He knows that Keith doesn’t reciprocate. Well, he’s _pretty sure_ , and that’s enough to hold him back. He know the best plan of action, at least for now, is to keep silent. Maybe it’ll just fade away, like it was never really there. Or maybe Keith will start being a dick again and that’ll be the end of that.

Or maybe Keith will keep being charming and kind, and he’ll keep bantering jokingly with Lance, and he’ll keep being _majestic_ while he trains and fights. And maybe Lance will just keep falling harder for him, as he watches all of his actions, and listens to every word he says. And maybe that’s exactly what happens, and Lance _knows_ that he’s screwed.

So Lance decided from then on that he would not avoid Keith (that would make it far too obvious). Instead, he decided to just pretend like things are fine. He would do what he always does. Flirt, and joke, and banter, and act like he was into Allura. And that was fine for a while.

Until it wasn’t.

The thing about Lance’s crush on Keith is that it wasn’t something that was particularly new. Even Lance knew this, it just took a while for him to realize that _hey, maybe this isn’t the first time I’ve thought this way about Keith_. If he remembers hard enough, he can think of being at the Garrison, and staring at the back of Keith’s head, and praying that this kid will turn around and notice him. He had brushed it off as jealousy back then, as had Hunk and his other peers. But now, with hindsight and some strong emotions, he knows exactly what he had felt back then, and it wasn’t the burning hatred he always thought it was. 

The main issues with something that is long lasting (like his fat crush on Keith) is that it’s pretty hard to ignore. When Lance thinks of his abuelita, fond memories come back of the old woman who sat in a rocking chair with a fly swatter and hollered at his family members to bring her water. He loved her, but she also wasn’t the kind of person who would sit quietly. No, they would forget about her when she was quiet (like if she fell asleep). But when she was awake? Loud, and loving, and if she saw you, you wouldn’t be talking to anybody else for another hour. And even though his grandmother was older than his burning feelings for Keith, he could definitely see the similarities. Loud? Check. Annoying? Check. Gets in the way of everyday life? Check. The only difference is that Lance loves his abuelita. He does not love having obnoxious feelings for Keith.

So when they’re forced to interact during team activities, it’s hard for Lance not to be distracted by Keith, despite his best efforts.

They’re doing some team training exercise, where they sit in a circle on the ground and work through “ethical problems”. It’s boring, and lame, but they’re split into pairs and of course Lance is partnered with Keith. And as much as he wants to say that he’s hating it, Keith is not the worst companion to have on a boring activity.

“You’re trying to deliver a civilian safely back home after an attack, when you find out that they were on trial for stealing fruit,” Keith reads off of a card, monotone. “Stealing is a major crime on that planet, but if you return the civilian home, they will likely be acquitted based on a strange loophole in the planet’s laws. He stole from an incredibly poor merchant, but he is a poor merchant himself and has gotten a leg injury in the escape. You know justice must be served and it is your responsibility to follow planetary customs but it is also your job to return the civilian to safety, which means at their home. What do you do?” Keith looks up from the card, eyebrows creased. “What kind of a planet-?”

Lance smirks. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I think we return him home. He probably stole the fruit for a good reason. Jean Valjean that bitch.” Keith quirks an eyebrow.

“You’re just gonna ignore planetary customs?” Lance recognizes the challenge.

“You’re just gonna let an injured man be penalized for a piece of fruit?” Lance retorts back.

“It’s a major offense on their planet. You gotta respect customs, man. Read the card.”

“I’m not gonna throw a civilian under the bus for a piece of fruit. He’s poor and injured. He can’t go to jail. He probably didn’t do anything wrong.” Lance peers at Keith, who seems to be deep in thought.

“Okay, what if we pay for the fruit ourselves and then return the civilian home so that he’s not stealing but he can still go home. Then everyone wins,” Keith offers. Lance considers.

“OOR… We stow away the civilian on the castleship. We wormhole ourselves to a remote galaxy and take him in our lions to a major marketplace in this galaxy, where you can purchase all kinds of fruit. We take him there, and we buy out all the goddamn fruit we can find and give it to him. Then, we take the fruit back and throw it at him. A bitch is serious about her fruit.”

Lance wasn’t sure what kind of a reaction he expected, but Keith’s laughter was one that he knew he didn’t deserve. Keith wasn’t the kind to laugh often, but when Lance was able to make him, he felt like the king of the world. Keith’s laugh was bright and bubbly and Lance thought it was the cutest thing in the damn world. The way he sat, criss cross applesauce, back leaning against the couch, head thrown back in laughter. Lance wanted to stay there forever.

That is, until he glanced over to his left. Hunk and Pidge were staring at him with a strange look.

Whatever. Let them stare, he thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance rly be not knowing what he's doing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.
> 
> Me: I should update next week.  
> Me, eight months later: CHAPTER FIVE Y'ALL!!!
> 
> I'm SO SO SORRY. Like SO SORRY. I'm sure you thought I'd abandoned this. Honestly, I had thought I'd abandoned this. But I'm on summer break now and procrastinating on stuff for college and summer work and stuff so here we are!!
> 
> This was rushed but I was bored so please don't judge me. I have the rest planned out which I'm excited for though. Hopefully there won't be another eight month gap lmao.

Enough was enough.

Lance liked to think he was a laid back guy. He was chill, went with the flow, that sort of thing. But this? Hiding a crush from someone in close proximity? Not fun. Not fun at all.

He knew this was weird, but Lance liked crushes. He liked the thrill of hiding them, and the joy of interaction, and all of the fun, secret-y hijinks and shit. But Keith was new territory. Not only was he around Keith all hours of the day, but now he had his soulmate to deal with. 

Red. Red was a whole other can of worms. Lance liked Red. He really did. But he also figured that if he was gonna be stuck in space, it couldn’t hurt to mess around a _little_. Still, they wrote every night.

Red was a good pen pal. Lance couldn’t dump too much on him, but they had fun times.

_do you like movies?_ Lance asked him one time.

_depends what kind_ Red had responded.

_what kind?_

_i like horror movies_

_WHAT????_

Lance hated horror movies. Despised them, even. Far too scary. No way. Nuh uh. Nope. 

_you don’t?_

_Uh, no._

_Baby._

This debate continued for several hours.

So his relationship was good. But when push came to shove, there was still Red, but there was still Keith, and neither he could pursue. Not really.

Lance figured he had to do _something_ about all of this. He couldn’t just sit in limbo, trying to figure which one to lead on. Earlier on, it had been clear: he could just flirt and distract himself with Keith, while keeping his future set on his soulmate. But a certain “L” word was starting to flicker around his thoughts when he watched Keith and his stupid shiny hair and his dumb toned abs and his disgustingly pretty face and- _no._ No. no. no. It was _too_ early for that. It was a crush. He would admit that. 

He didn’t know what to do. The idea of moving on from Keith was… well. Lance didn’t really know what it was. The first word that came to his mind was impossible. He just… Keith was always there. Like, always. His usual course of action for a crush was to just not talk to them for a couple days, hang out with his friends, distract himself. More often than not, they were superficial and went as fast as they came.

Keith, though? Not something he can avoid as easily. Not during training,or forming Voltron, or anything. And, not to be, like, masochistic or something, but Lance sort of _liked_ what he had with Keith. Not the crush part, obviously, but at least the friendly banter and the smiles and the laughs and the everything he had craved from the stupid mullet-man for all those years.

But _Red._

Red. With the stupid jokes and the witty banter and the easy conversation. It’s not like Lance could ghost him. They were freaking soulmates. If Red tried to stop responding, Lance would probably lose his shit.

He wished Red was out there in space with him to. Wouldn’t that make life easier. 

Finally, after one too many sleepless nights over his two unattainable crushes, Lance made up his mind. Well, not really, but he at least had a semblance of a plan.

With his past crushes, he had always had one constant: Hunk. Hunk always knew what to do, what to say. He was wise beyond his years, with the comfort of a mother and the wittiness of a sibling. A small part of Lance wishes that _they_ were soulmates. He envied the lucky other who got Hunk. He was quite a catch.

And if there was anyone who could help Lance with his predicament, it was Hunk. Shiro was a good second option, but they just weren’t very close. Plus Shiro was basically brothers with Keith. The last thing he needs is Keith finding out. Pidge would be useless, the little gremlin. Allura and Coran didn’t know nearly enough about human soulmates. So it left beautiful, intelligent Hunk to deal with Lance’s issue.

“Huuuuuunk. I need help,” Lance whines, flopping down onto the couch next to Hunk in the common area. Hunk is fidgeting with some mechanics, barely acknowledging Lance’s dramatic entrance.

“Yeah, buddy?” Hunk glances up from his project, seeing Lance splayed out on the couch. “This better not be about wooing Allura. I told you, dude, she’s not worth it.”

“It’s not,” Lance assures, “but it is about… love, I guess.” The word feels weird in his mouth, like something he doesn’t want to apply to this situation, but still does.

“What is it, man?”

“So… hypothetically… let’s say you have a soulmate.” Lance lays with his back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. He hates how reminiscent it is of a therapist in a cartoon, but that’s sort of what it is, isn’t it?

“Not a hypothetical, bud. We have them.”

“Right… but look. Let’s say this hypothetical soulmate is like, really cute, and you like to talk to him a lot, and you don’t really know anything about him, but you know you like him-”

“Lance, that’s how, like, all soulmates are. Are you going somewhere with this, or are you just trying to brag to me about how your soulmate is actually talking to you now?”

“What-”

“And don’t tell me I’m wrong. I know you’re talking to your soulmate. You’re not subtle.” Hunk shoots him a knowing look. Lance feels his face heat up.

“No! Well… let me finish. So I have this soulmate, _hypothetically_. But I also have this person, in real life, who I really, really like. Like, really, _really_ like. What would you do?”

Hunk squints. “What are you asking me? I’m confused.”

Lance rolls over to stare at Hunk. “You know! I like- I don’t know if I should ignore my soulmate to pursue this _hypothetical_ person or if I should try and move on from the person and go for my soulmate!”

“Ok, dude,” Hunk begins sympathetically, “in this _hypothetical_ scenario, one person is home on Earth and one is presumably in space. So just go for the space one until we get home. Done.”

“But Huuunk. It’s mean to lead them on. Go after them and then dump them as soon as we get home? That’s- I’d hate that. It’s like I’d just been there to pass time.”

“Isn’t that what they’re for?”

“But- Look, Hunk. I hypothetically like this person so much that I wouldn’t want to do that for them.”

“Dude, can we please stop saying hypothetically? I know it’s Keith. You’re not subtle.”

Lance splutters. His cover is blown.

“Alright, fine. Please don’t tell. But what do I do?” Lance sits up, staring pleadingly at Hunk.

Hunk looks at him sympathetically. “Don’t go out with him if you think it will hurt him.”

“But I want to! So bad!”

“Then do it!”

“But what do I do about my soulmate?”

“Lance, buddy, any argument I have for you is probably one you’ve already had with yourself. I don’t know what to tell you. Shiro might have some answers. I can’t deal with this anymore.” With that, Hunk picks up his gadgets and leaves for him room.

So there Lance is left, more confused than before.

And then the siren blares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, constructive criticism is always appreciated! I'm not really using tumblr anymore, but if you really don't want to leave a comment here I might pop on every once in a blue moon.
> 
> I'm travelling internationally next week, so there probably won't be an update for a solid week or two.
> 
> Thanks!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi pls give me constructive criticism b/c I really need it. I wanna improve!!! I'll probably update some time next week depending on when I get my shit together. Thank u!


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